Yet Another AIM With The Cullens Story
by MadlyInLoveWithMusic
Summary: rated for mild ish swearing later on. Will hopefully be funny. set 1 year after BD ends, all cannon pairings. Will be few own characters in future chapters. DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I TELL YOU! Well, i do own the idea of the OC's. XD
1. Coffee or sugar, Aro?

I know what you may be thinking, 'Whaaatt?? Not another of those Cullens on AIM things!!!' but I promise, if you do read this, you won't be disappointed!! The full summary is below, as I can't fit it all onto the story description. Read this, then sit back and enjoy!!_ (Will only be updated when i feel like it, as this story is being written for fun, so it will probably end up not being updated for months at a time unless i can remember to write in my spare time.)_

Summary: The Cullens have now got AIM!! Oh, the horror!! Set 10 years after BD, the Cullens finally realised that chatting to others, if even online would be fun and help them to appear more normal. Inside you can find insults, witty comebacks and daft nicknames galore. Characters will be OOC most of the time, Aro especially. Aro be freeeeakky…

**Bella – Spider Monkey**

**Edward – Do I Dazzle You?**

**Alice – Shoppaholic101**

**Esme – Maxi-Mum of 6**

**Rosalie – Natural-Blonde**

**Carlisle – Dr.V**

**Emmett – Emmy-bear**

**Jasper – Jazz-Hands**

**Nessie – One Of A Kind**

**Jacob – Hot Dawg**

**Mike – The Mikester (**_Original, I know)_

**Aro – Spotty Socks**

_Spider Monkey has logged on_

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**Spider Monkey: **Hi everyone!!

**Do I Dazzle You?: **Hi Bella.

**Hot Dawg: **'Lo Bells!! Wuu2?

**Spider Monkey: **Eh?

**Jazz-Hands: **He's asking what you're doing Bella. Hi Eddie!

**Do I Dazzle You?: **Don't call me Eddie. _-pouts- _

**Jazz-Hands: **You call me Jazzy, me call you Eddie_. –sticks out tongue-_ Ha.

**Hot Dawg: **EDDIE!!! ROTFL!!

**Shoppaholic101: **I know!! Lolz. It's my fave nickname 4 him!!

**Spider Monkey: **_-squeals-_ can I call you Eddie, Eddie? Pleeeeeease???

_Hot Dawg has logged off_

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**Do I Dazzle You?: **WTF is Spotty Socks?!?

**Shoppaholic101: **Not a clue Eddie.

**Spider Monkey: **I don't know either. I have 2 go, I need to get some food 4 me and Charlie. C u!

**Do I Dazzle You?: **bye love.

_Spider Monkey has logged off_

**Spotty Socks: **IT IS I, ARO VOLTURI!! I HAVE COME TO TAKE OVER THE INTERNET!! IT'S COMPUTERNESS WILL SOON BE MINE!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

**Do I Dazzle You?: **Sugar or coffee, Aro?

**Spotty Socks: **COFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEE……….. such a WEIRD word… weird's a weird word 2. WEIRD!!!!1!!

**Shoppaholic101: **I should of seen this, shouldn't i? Oh well…

_Shoppaholic 101 has logged off_

**Do I Dazzle You?: **Oh yes, that's right Alice, leave me with ARO!!!

**Spotty Socks: **Don't cha wish ur girlfriend has HOTT like me, don't cha wish ur girlfriend was a FREAK like me, don't cha…

**Do I Dazzle You?: ** Uh, no, actually i don't.

_Do I Dazzle You? has logged off_

**Spotty Socks: **OMDE!!! NOOOO!!! I'm all alone, there's no-one here beside meeeeee…. BAGELS ARE THE BEST!!! EVEN IF I HAVE TO CHUCK THEM UP AGAIN ONCE I EAT THEM!!! YAY!!

_Spotty Socks has logged off_


	2. Name games? Damn you Alice!

A/N: Yah, I felt like updating early today. Just so you know, this will probably be the last chapter for about a month, as I am writing this on the 14th Jan, and I'm moving to New Zealand on the 16th. Crap, I'm nervous about it! Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and wish me good luck! Oh and for the reference, there's a bit mentioning gays at the bottom of the chapter. I have nothing whatsoever against Gays. At all.

Summary: The Cullens have now got AIM!! Oh, the horror!! Set 10 years after BD, the Cullens finally realised that chatting to others, if even online would be fun and help them to appear more normal. Inside you can find insults, witty comebacks and daft nicknames galore. Characters will be OOC most of the time, Aro especially. Aro be freeeeakky…i may add a few special guests, inc. me, my friends and any people who stick with me through all my stories and always review!! love y'all!!

_**CHAPTER 2 – NAME GAMES? Damn You Alice!!**_

**Bella – Spider Monkey**

**Edward – Do I Dazzle You?**

**Alice – Shoppaholic101**

**Esme – Maxi-Mum of 6**

**Rosalie – Natural-Blonde**

**Carlisle – Dr.V**

**Emmett – Emmy-bear**

**Jasper – Jazz-Hands**

**Nessie – One Of A Kind**

**Jacob – Hot Dawg**

**Mike – The Mikester (**_Original, I know)_

**Aro – Spotty Socks**

**Leah – BitchAndProud**

_Spider Monkey has logged on_

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**Emmy-Bear: **LMAO DID YOU SEE ALICE TODAY?!?

**Do I Dazzle You?:** Yeah, I was rolling on the floor in laughter! Still can't believe that she did that just for some shoes!!

**Spider Monkey: **I was right there with her! I was the one she got the bloody shoes for in the first place! I pity Lauren though, Alice ripped out loads of her hair extensions in the catfight. She'll look a right mess 2moz!

**Shoppaholic101: **You should be grateful Bella! Those were the last shoes in the store that were your size.

**Spider Monkey: **Another shipment is coming in 2moz, we could of just gone out again. Or even better, we could of just forgotten about that one pair since you'd already bought me HALF THE FRIGGIN MALL!!!!

**Shoppaholic101: **Sorry Bella.

**Emmy-Bear: **Half the mall? Jeez Ali, that's more than usual! Normally it's just a 3rd of the mall!! (joking – plz don't kill me!)

**Jazz-Hands: **Ok ppl, stop flipping out at Ali. She couldn't help it! Besides, all the remorse she's giving off is making me want 2 cry. –sniffles-

**Maxi-Mum of 6: **I left that store literally 3 seconds before Alice got to those shoes. I was thinking of buying them, but I'm happy I didn't!

**Emmy-Bear: **OOOOHHHHH!!! I KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO!!! PICK ME!! ME!!!

**Spider Monkey: **Oook…what's up Emmy?

**Emmy-Bear: **The sky!! You know what? I've forgotten. Oh well!! –shrugs-

**Shoppaholic101: **Why don't we play a game?

_Hot Dawg has logged on_

_One Of A Kind has logged on_

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_The Mikester has logged on_

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**Shoppaholic101: **Yay! Now the numbers are even!! Jake, Nessie, Rose, Mike and Leah we're playing a game!!

**Do I Dazzle You?: **Yeah, you still haven't explained the game to us Ali.

**Shoppaholic01: **We'll change our names. Bells change Eddies & vice versa, Rose & Emmy, me & Jazz, Esme & Carlisle, Jake & Nessie, Mike & Leah. Geddit? Oh, and nothing perverted please, Jake.

**One Of A Kind: **Got it Aunt Ali! The rest of you, do it or I'll kill you! mwhahahahaha...i love my evil laugh, it's just so EVIL!!

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	3. You called me WHAT?

This is the latest chapter in my story, enjoy!!

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!

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**GayAndLovinIt: **WHAAAA?!?!

**Fido The Dog: **Go Leah!! Oh, and Nessie? NOT FUNNY!!

**Nessielicious: **Yeah, it's not funny, it's hilarious!! Don't you agree Rose?

**Emmett's Hot Blonde: **Yup, definitely hilarious! Emmett's creativity is lacking, don't you think?

**Jazzy the EMO: **ALICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**SexyDoctor: **I'm rather happy with my new name. =D What about you. Esme?

**MommaWithAttitude: **Ur on the couch for the rest of the week. No complaining.

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**SexyDoctor: **But… -wails- ESME!!!

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**PixieOnCrack: **Weird…

**IOnlyPMSOnDaysEndingInY: **Yah…

**MyBrandOfHeroin: **Totally. At least she lived up to her name.

**PixieOnCrack: **lol

**MyBrandOfHeroin: **-le gasp- Us 3 should totally form a club!! We could be BFBWWTBST's!!

**IOnlyPMSOnDaysEndingInY: **BFBWWTBST?

**MyBrandOfHeroin: **Best Friends Because We Want To Be So There!! DUH

**PixieOnCrack: **we could get matching t-shirts!!!

**IOnlyPMSOnDaysEndingInY: **You know what? This could work…

**EveryDayOfForever: **…?

**Snufflepoo-Is-My-Pet-Rubber-Duckie: **Ooooh, CLUB!! Can I be in?

**EveryDayOfForever: **Lovin the name Emmett! Rose, you are the best!!

**Emmett's Hot Blonde: **It took you till now to notice?

_Emmett's Hot Blonde has logged off_

**MyBrandOfHeroin: **EDWARD!! YOU SAID I WAS THE BEST! DON'T YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE?!?

**Nessielicious: **g2g, I need to …wash… my … CAR! Yeah, I need to wash my car!! BYE!!

**Fido The Dog: **And I need to help Nessie was her car!! Yah, it'll lake her a long time by herself!! BYE!!

_Nessielicious has logged off_

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**EveryDayOfForever: **I didn't mean it, honest!! I still love you!!

**MyBrandOfHeroin: **Hmph.

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**EveryDayOfForever: **Oh damn.

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**Snufflepoo-Is-My-Pet-Rubber-Duckie: **Hmm...interesting… -strokes chin-

**GayAndLovinIt: **Do they do this often?

**IOnlyPMSOnDayEndingInY: **Yup. You get used to it though. Bella's just a tad…dramatic at times.

**Jazzy the EMO: **you think? She's only messing around with him though. He's just so easy to stress out! You'd think that he'd learnt that by now. What an idiot. He's supposed to be the all knowing one.

**PixieOnCrack: **I know the feeling. He could simply ask me if she meant it. He never does.

**GayAndLovinIt: **So they fight a lot then?

**IOnlyPMSOnDaysEndingInY: **No shit. And no, I can tell what you're thinking and you don't have a chance with her.

**GayAndLovinIt: **Aww. **:**'(

**PixieOnCrack: **Jazzy?

**Jazzy the EMO: **Yes love?

**PixieOnCrack: **-huggles-

**Jazzy the EMO: **-runs away-

_Jazzy the EMO has logged off_

**PixieOnCrack: **-grins- typical. Boys?

**Snufflepoo-Is-My-Pet-Rubber-Duckie: **Yah?

**GayAndLovinIt: **What?

**IOnlyPMSOnDaysEndingInY: **-yells- LEAVE!! NOW!!!

**Snufflepoo-Is-My-Pet-Rubber-Duckie: **-squeaks- yes ma'am

**GayAndLovinIt: **going, going, going…gone!

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**PixieOnCrack: **lol

**IOnlyPMSOnDaysEndingInY: **I'm gonna go change my p/n now. Bye!

_IOnlyPMSOnDaysEndingInY has logged off_

**PixieOnCrack: **I might keep my name actually…I kinda like it!! OMHJ, THERE'S A PAIR OF NEW PRADA SHOES FOR SALE ON EBAY!!! G2G!!!

_PixieOnCrack has logged off_


	4. story of the EMO THERAPIST

OMG, it's chapter 4!!! I never thought that I'd get so far so soon!! I'd like to thank all my wonderful reviewers, especially Obsessive Cullen Fan, this one's for you Luce! BTW, if u want to know where I am on my epic immigration to the other side of the world (England – NZ) I'm now in NZ. I WANNA GO BACK 2 ENGLAND!! I've decided to include notes with the Cullens when I feel like it, they'll be just like the AIM conversations, only not as often. Oh, and flashbacks are in italics and have § signs at the start and end.

**Bella – MyBrandOfHeroin**

**Edward – Do I Dazzle You?**

**Alice – PixieOnCrack**

**Esme – Maxi-Mum of 6**

**Rosalie – Natural-Blonde**

**Carlisle – Sexy Doctor**

**Emmett – Snufflepoo-Is-My-Pet-Rubber-Duckie**

**Jasper – Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST**

**Nessie – Nessielicious**

**Jacob – Hot Dawg**

**Mike – The Mikester **

**Aro – Spotty Socks**

**Leah – BitchAndProud**

_PixieOnCrack has logged on_

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**Spotty Socks: **Hiiiiiiii ppl!!

**PixieOnCrack: **Hi Aro

**Do I Dazzle You?: **Hello Aro

**Spotty Socks: **OMC OMC, DID YOU SEE IT!!!

**PixieOnCrack: **-looks around wildly- See what?

**Spotty Socks: **Made you look!! XD

**PixieOnCrack: **-pouts-

**Do I Dazzle You?: **lol

**Spotty Socks: **OhMyGeeee one of my fellow Volturi have brought me my dinner!! Bloooooodddd…… and BAGELY-SAUSAGES!!!

_Spotty Socks has logged off_

**Do I Dazzle You?: **Bagely-sausages?!?

**PixieOnCrack: **Yeesh, Aro even creeps me out!!

_Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST has logged on_

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **How does Aro make you feeeeeeeeel?

**Do I Dazzle You?: **Don't start this again Jasper

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **How do I make you feeeeeeeel?

**Do I Dazzle You?: **SHOVE IT JASPER!!

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **lol. Do u even remember how the emo-therapist thing started?

**PixieOnCrack: **Yup

_§§§FLASHBACK STARTS§§§_

"_EMMETT!! GIVE ME HER BACK!!!" Edward screamed, chasing a cackling Emmett who was holding a slightly dumbstruck Bella. The newborn vampire soon came to her senses and easily climbed out of Emmett's arms. The idiot hadn't even realised that she'd escaped. Throwing a quick wink at Bella, Edward stomped off after announcing he simply wasn't worth the effort and that Bella could easily get out by herself, muttering under his breath about revenge and pink paint as he returned. Bella soon followed and waved at Emmett. Running as fast as she could, she counted slowly down from 5 and right on cue, Emmett realised what'd happened._

"_WHAT THE HELL!? HOW DID SHE GET AWAY??" Sticking his nose in the air, he decided to ignore them both for the day. Striding through the forest and back to his house, he was confronted by Jasper. A wave of piece settled over him, courtesy of Jasper's talent. _

"_Heya Jasper" Emmett smiled._

"_Hi Emmett." Replied Jasper, who looked slightly amused, probably wondering why Emmett was putting out such a load of emotions. _

"_Jazzy, Bella ran away! She promised me that she'd spend today with me and help me plan my yearly Halloween pranks on Alice and Rose." He whined, pouting slightly._

"_I don't see why she shouldn't have. She was around for last year, and saw what chaos it was. She also saw your punishment. You had to re-paint the garage. By hand. Without vampire speed. You had to do it over 3 times 'cause you kept mucking it up!! I don't think that Bells would want to do something like that."_

"_Aaww, now you've made me feel guilty!! You haven't even used your powers. Have you?" Emmett eyed Jasper with what he thought was a suspicious glare that was actually something that would send an ordinary person into hysterics. Like, rolling on the floor and crying with laughter hysterics. _

"_What are you, anyway? Some sort of emo-therapist? Making me feel guilty! Bah, the great Emmett the almighty should never feel guilty!! Off with your head!!"_

"…_Emo-therapist? If I'm a therapist, how does Bella make you feeeeeeel? How does her betrayal make you feeeeeeeel? How do I make you feeeeeeel?"_

"_Yah, you're an EMO-THERAPIST!!! YOU MAKE ME FEEEEL MAAAAD!! OMC, YOU'RE A SHRINK!!! I'M NOT CRAAAAAZZZY!!! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!! NEVER!! BWAHAHAHA!!" Emmett shrieked, and whizzed off to tell the others that Jasper was now a shrink and was to be avoided at all costs. As usual, everyone ignored him, but Jasper's new nickname stayed._

_§§§FLASHBACK ENDS§§§_

**PixieOnCrack: **And that's how you got your nickname.

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **…I remember now. My nickname sucks. I HATE that day.

**Do I Dazzle You?: **You would.


	5. Seventeen Forever

OMDE, I UPDATED!! Ever so sorry about the long gap, I had no inspiration for this chapter until yesterday (24th) when I heard a song. This chapter is kind of lame, and not that funny. I just really wanted to put the song into my story. I've got a plan for chapters 6&7 though, they're gonna be funny. So after that, let me introduce:

CHAPTER 5, SEVENTEEN FOREVER

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS OR THE SONG 'SEVENTEEN FOREVER' BY METRO STATION (listen to it though, it's very good!)

**Bella – MyBrandOfHeroin**

**Edward – Do I Dazzle You?**

**Alice – PixieOnCrack**

**Esme – Maxi-Mum of 6**

**Rosalie – Natural-Blonde**

**Carlisle – Sexy Doctor**

**Emmett – Snufflepoo-Is-My-Pet-Rubber-Duckie**

**Jasper – Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST**

**Nessie – Nessielicious**

**Jacob – Hot Dawg**

**Mike – The Mikester **

**Aro – Spotty Socks**

**Leah – BitchAndProud**

_MyBrandOfHeroin has logged on _

_Do I Dazzle You? has logged on _

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_Jazzy The EMO-THERAPIST has logged on_

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**MyBrandOfHeroin: **OMDE, I found da best song evr on utube I heard it and was like 'Oh, the irony!!'

**Do I Dazzle You?: **What song?

**MyBrandOfHeroin: **Seventeen Forever by Metro Station

**PixieOnCrack: **OMGJ, ur right!!! Lol, I was LMAO when I heard it first. Shall we Bella?

**MyBrandOfHeroin: **We shall Alice. Ready? GOOOO!!!!!

_You are young and so am I and,_

_This is wrong but who am I to judge,_

_I feel like heaven when we touch._

_I guess for me this is enough_

**PixieOnCrack: **

_We're one mistake from being together,_

_But let's not ask why it's not right,_

_You won't be seventeen forever _

_And we can get away with this tonight_

**MyBrandOfHeroin: **

_You were young and I was scared,_

_You're wise beyond your years but I don't care_

_And I can feel your heart beat _

_You know exactly where to take me_

**PixieOnCrack: **

_We're one mistake from being together,_

_But let's not ask why it's not right,_

_You won't be seventeen forever _

_And we can get away with this tonight_

**MyBrandOfHeroin: **

_Ooh ooh,_

_Ooh ooh,_

_Ooh ooh,_

_Ooh ooh,_

**PixieOnCrack: **

_Will you remember me?_

_You ask me as I leave, _

_Remember what I said,_

_Oh how could I, oh how could I forget?_

**MyBrandOfHeroin:**

_We're one mistake from being together,_

_But let's not ask why it's not right,_

_You won't be seventeen forever _

_And we can get away with this tonight_

**PixieOnCrack: **

_We're one mistake from being together,_

_But let's not ask why it's not right,_

_You won't be seventeen forever _

_And we can get away with this tonight_

**MyBrandOfHeroin:**

_We're one mistake from being together,_

_But let's not ask why it's not right,_

_You won't be seventeen forever _

_And we can get away with this tonight_

**PixieOnCrack:**

_Ooh ooh,_

_Ooh ooh,_

_Ooh ooh,_

_Ooh ooh,_

**MyBrandOfHeroin: **

_Ooh ooh,_

_Ooh ooh,_

_Ooh ooh,_

_Ooh ooh,_

**PixieOnCrack: **I  this song!!

**Do I Dazzle You?: **Wow. Irony is right!!

**Nessielicious: ** Damn that's creepy!!

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **Got that right.

**Nessielicious: **Guys, this is Jake, I've took over her computer for a moment. She's telling me to piss off. I needed to tell you all that I LIKE NATCHOS!!!!

**Nessielicious: **sorry. He used the puppy dog look!! I had to give in to him. He's stocked full of caffine, and I'm never letting him have coffee over again. Ever. G2G, he's about to distroy the house. Later!

_Nessielicious has logged off_

**MyBrandOfHeroin: **Jacob's and idiot sometimes.

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **more like all the time Bella.

**MyBrandOfHeroin: **True, true. Hey fellow BFBWWTBST?

**PixieOnCrack: **OHTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!! You won't regret it, I'll make them look fab!!

**DoIDazzleYou?: **I'm feeling oddly out of the loop. Alice, stop blocking me!! You could at least sing a good song!! Why pussycat dolls?!?

**PixieOnCrack: **Because. Come on Bells, we need to go and get our You-Know-Whats.

_PixieOnCrack has logged off_

**MyBrandOfHeroin: **I'm with Alice. Later boys!

_MyBrandOfHeroin has logged off_

**Do I Dazzle You?: **LMAO, Alice is so weird!! I just figured out what OMGJ stands for!!

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **What'd it stand for??

**Do I Dazzle You?: **Oh My Gorgeous Jasper!!! Lol. She has a demented mind…although it was the fan-girls that made that up…why did we let Stephenie publish our lives again? I don't even know how she got hold of the honeymoon scenes, we told her that they were private…

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **Maybe she spied on you…GROSS!!!!

**Do I Dazzle You?: **Excuse me while I go throw up…

_Do I Dazzle You? has logged off_

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **Aro would want me to say something witty about bagels and sausages before I leave, so here it is: I HAVE A VAMPIRE BAGEL NAMED CHRIS WHO LIKES SWISS CHEESE!!! HIS BEST FRIEND IS NATALI THE SAUSAGE!! –whispers- they're getting married next week! –nods head seriously-

_Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST has logged off_


	6. ATTACK MY PRETTIES!

A/N: Hiiiiii everyone!! I'm so surprised that I got feedback on my latest chapter so soon!! You reviewers are marvellous. Couldn't live without you!! Oh, and Lucy, if you're reading this, send me Ross' e-mail, or face my wrath. He's gonna die. Painfully. The absolute nerve of that bloody idiot!!! He splits up with poor Amy on MSN then tells her friend that he still thinks she's hot!! I am soooo glad I'm not in England now, or else you'd have to stop me from hunting him down, torturing him, killing him, resurrecting him and then torturing him again. I now officially hate Ross. If anyone who reads this is called Ross, no offence is meant to you. Only to Amy's ex.

Now I am proud to introduce my newest chapter, my first one with notes

CHAPTER 6: PEACHES AND VAMPIRES

GIRLS: Alice, _Bella, __Special Guest _(still from Twilight)

BOYS: **Jasper****, **_**Edward, **__**Aro**_

_**Why do you want us to write notes Alice?**_

'Cause I felt like it

_**Why did you feel like it? **_

Sorry, It's just that I needed to get you away from Bella for a minute. 

-A large bang and a muffled curse is heard from outside. -

**What was that?!?**

_**I don't know, and since Bella has caught the 'bagel bug' of Aro, I dread to think what she may be doing. **_

-An evil laugh sounds from the yard and all the vampires inside start to look nervous-

**I am so not looking forward to this**

Oh my god. SHE DID NOT JUST DO THAT!!!!!!!!!

**What?**

_**NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY PAINTED MY CAR PINK!!!!!!!!!! ARO WILL DIE!!!! PAINFULLY!!!!!!**_

**Did they touch my baby? DID THEY??**

No, but they're about to.

**Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt……can I kill them?**

No

-A small exclamation of disgust is heard as well as the sound of many soft things hitting eachother-

Lol…Bella's trying to turn Peaches into vampires. Our venom only works on humans…wait, no it doesn't…damn, they actually succeed.

**Seriously?**

_**Yup. I saw it as well. We should go and stop them.**_

_OMC, hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii every1!!!!_

_**Hello love**_

Hi Bella

'**Lo Bells**

_Oh my geeeee……I MADE VAMPIRE PEACHESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME MY MINIONS, COME!!!! –evil cackle- _

-All the newborn vampire-peaches come marching into the room single file-

_**Oh**_

**My**

God

…Wha?

_ATTACKKKK!!!!_

-All the peaches jump Alice, Jazz and Edward while Angela drives up the driveway to the house and gawps at the happenings through the big windows-

_MWHAHAHAHA!!!! I SHALL RULE THE WO…oh, hi Angie!!_

_Don't call me Angie. And WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE THINGS??!?!_

_Hehehe…long story short, they're vampire peaches._

_VAMPIRE'S DON'T EXSIST!!_

_Um, yah, they do._

_Don't_

_Do_

_DON'T_

_DO_

**SHUDDUP!!!!**

_Yeesh, don't go all grumpy-emo-therapist on me._

_Emo-therapist?_

_**You don't want to know. Bella, make these things stop biting me!! It actually hurts!!**_

HA!! The almighty Edward admits to something hurting him, and the thing that hurts him is…A PEACH!!

_Hem-hem_

A VAMPIRE PEACH!!

_Thank you, POC._

?

_PixieOnCrack._

Ooohh…I feel stupid now…DON'T SAY IT!!!

_Fine._

_Helloooo?!? I've got friggin PEACHES attacking me and… OW!! IT BIT ME!!_

_**NO!**_

**CALL CARLISLE!!**

THEY'RE NOT VENEMOUS ENOUGH TO TURN PEOPLE!!! It'll hurt a lot but it won't turn them.

**Phew.**

_**I didn't see that one. Was it when I went 'camping'?**_

Yah

_**We need to get rid of the peaches. Maybe if we squish them then burn them?**_

_But…they're my babies!!_

_**No Bella, they are peaches. Not your Babies. Now, go squish them or I'll dazzle you.**_

_Fine =_(

**She's so fussy sometimes. We should help Angela.**

Suppose we should

-Jazz and Ali turn round and watch Angie, Edward and Bella kill the peaches.-

My room or yours?

**Yours – it's more soundproof. –waggles eyebrows suggestively-**

-giggles- Race you up there!!

-15 mins later when all the peaches have been killed-

_SUGGGGGGAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH………._

_**No.**_

_PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEE!!!!!!_

_**No**_

_WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYY???_

_Bella, stop doing that!!_

_Why?_

_Because it's annoying._

_Why?_

_**Now you've done it. She won't stop asking why.**_

_Why?_

_**Because. Besides, if you don't stop it there won't be any kisses for a day.**_

_WHAAAATTT??? Ok, I'll stop. I need kisses._

_EEEEEWWWWW!!!!! Read what Alice and Jasper said before we left._

_OMG!!! THEY'RE GETTING IT OOONNNN!!!! _

_**TMI**_

_Le Deffo._

_Edward? What's with the 'OMG THIS IS NOT HAPPENING' expression?_

_**Alice's talent. You know what I mean Bella.**_

_She got a vision?_

_**Yup.**_

_Of?_

_**Something I don't want to happen.**_

_Tell me._

_Backtrack…Vision? Like seers? Cause you said it was of something that was gonna happen._

_**Yes, it's going to happen now.**_

_**Yo Dawgs, whaz chillin?**_

_Bagels._

_**Coconuts?**_

_In the basket._

_**With the 'mellows?**_

_S-W of here._

_**Eh?**_

_Are you speaking in code?_

_Le deffo, Aro, Where are the strawberries?_

_**With the children at the base.**_

_Italy?_

_**Yup.**_

_How's the group?_

_**The usual. Jane's all pissed of and wants to kill you, the others are just whining 'cause they're not as magnificently weird as moi. **_

_Am I magnificently weird as you?_

_**No duh. You're the one who taught me the joys of coffee. Even if I have to sick it back up again a few hours after I've drunk it.**_

_I think it's wearing off now._

_**So do I Bella. **_

_Who's that? The crying upstairs?_

_That's Renesmee. My daughter. I'll go get her._

-She whizzes up the stairs and back down again with Nessie using vampire speed-

_Drat. I shouldn't of ran that fast._

_How?_

'_Cause I'm a vampire. So's Eddie. And Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rose, Carlisle, Aro, Esme, Aro's friends and Nessie's half human-half vampire. Jake's a werewolf._

_**She'll have to be turned now Bella. You can't leave a human with so much knowledge. **_

_Aro, all she knows is that we exsist. Nothing else. Can't you just leave her be. Angie's very trustworthy, she won't tell anyone else anything. Will you Angie? _

_No._

_**Fine then. But I've g2g, it's nearly time for me 2 eat. I refuse to hunt animals like the rest of you.**_

_Go back to Italy then. At least hunt out of the treaty area. _

_**Buh-bye then ppls.**_

_**Bye Aro**_

_Later!!_


	7. FANGIRLS UNITE!

Now then, in this chapter things will be a little different. In come ME AND MY ENGLISH FRIENDS!!!!! Lol. Yes, my friends and I am in this chapter to cause mischief, mayhem and add to the absolute madness that is the Cullens!! Lucy honey, I know you read this story, and I am making you slightly more random than normal. LIKE ME!!! This isn't that normal, to add yourself to the story, but I couldn't think of anything else that'd be funny. So yah, only one thing to say now: I AM STARTING SCHOOL SO UPDATES WILL BE SLOW!!!! Please R&R. other friends of mine may come into future chapters. I changes Lucy's name in this chapter, 'cause she really didn't like her old one. Later!!

CHAPTER 7: WHO THE HELL ARE THEY?

CAST:

**Bella – MyBrandOfHeroin**

**Edward – Do I Dazzle You?**

**Alice – PixieOnCrack**

**Esme – Maxi-Mum of 6**

**Rosalie – Natural-Blonde**

**Carlisle – Sexy Doctor**

**Emmett – Snufflepoo-Is-My-Pet-Rubber-Duckie**

**Jasper – Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST**

**Nessie – Nessielicious**

**Jacob – Hot Dawg**

**Mike – The Mikester **

**Aro – Spotty Socks**

**Leah – BitchAndProud**

GUESTS:

**Me (Lucy C): TeamEdward1901**

**Lucy S: Runs/w/Wolves**

**Hannah M: Hannah_Bannana1234**

**Amy H: NOT_an_EMO**

_PixieOnCrack has logged on_

_Runs/w/Wolves has logged on_

_Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST has logged on_

_TeamEdward1901 has logged on_

_TeamEdward1901 has turned invisible_

**PixieOnCrack: **hi!

**Runs/w/Wolves: **Hi.

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **hey.

**Runs/w/Wolves: **Emo therapist? I've got a friend that's Emo, but she says she isn't. She so is though.

_NOT_an_EMO has logged on_

**NOT_an_EMO: **Hi Lucy, hi other people!!

**Runs/w/Wolves: **There's the friend I was talking about.

_Do I Dazzle You? has logged on_

**Do I Dazzle You?: **Hello every1.

**PixieOnCrack: **Hi Edward, I guess you finally decided 2 use chatspk.

**Runs/w/Wolves: **Edward, as in Edward Cullen????

**NOT_an_EMO: **Lu, you've asked every Edward we've met if they're Edward Cullen since you read Twilight. HE-IS-NOT-REAL!!!!

**Runs/w/Wolves: **YES HE IS!!!!!!!!!!! ISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISIS!!

**NOT_an_EMO: **ISN'T!!

**Runs/w/Wolves: **IS!!

_TeamEdward1901 has turned visible_

**TeamEdward1901: **Amy, get over it he IS real, and Lucy? If he really was Edward Cullen do you think he'd actually tell you? He does not want to be glomped every time he walks out the door of his home. Geddit? Besides, he's mine!!

**Runs/w/Wolves: **But he even has the right AIM name!!! MINE.

**TeamEdward1901: **. LET ME WIN OR I SHAL TAKE AWAY YOUR TWILIGHT BOOKS!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

**Runs/w/Wolves: **-le gasp- you wouldn't!!

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **yes, it's Edward, and will you please stop fighting? The emotions are getting to me. I need to go smash down a tree or something…

**PixieOnCrack: **Go wrestle with Emmett if you can get him away from Rose.

**Do I Dazzle You?: **I'd recommend smashing down a tree. You don't want to know what Rose & Emmett are doing right now.

**Runs/w/Wolves: **gross…bad mental image…GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!

**TeamEdward1901: **ARE YOU REALLY EDWARD?!?!?!????? OMG, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Do I Dazzle You?: **Riiiiight….

**Runs/w/Wolves: **OMHJ, that means that Jacob's real too!!!

**TeamEdward1901: **GODDAMMIT!!!!

**Runs/w/Wolves: **oh come on!! You said you were over the whole i-hate-Jacob thing!

**TeamEdward1901: **I don't hate him, I dislike him heavily. Stupid mutt.

**NOT_an_EMO: **will you 2 stop obsessing??? Gods, all the time it's about

Twi-frigging-light. IT'S JUST A BOOK!!!

**TeamEdward1901: **A BOOK ABOUT THE HOTTEST GUY ON THE PLANET!!!

**Runs/w/Wolves: **Exactly! It's about Jacob!!

**TeamEdward1901: **EDWARD!!

**Runs/w/Wolves: **JACOB!!

**TeamEdward1901: **EDWARD!!

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **You should be honoured Eddie. It looks like you have a fan.

**Do I Dazzle You?: **At least I don't have FF written about me & Esme getting together.

**PixieOnCrack: **jazzy got buuuurrrned…

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **Alliiicccee

**TeamEdward1901: **OMC, ALICE!! I adore you. ur my fave twilight girl!! I'm so jealous of you though…I soooo want a wardrobe the size of yours. I love shopping almost as much as you!!

**PixieOnCrack: **Well, we could always meet up for a shopping trip!! How old are you, by the way?

**Team Edward1901: **13 in less than a month. AM NOT A FANGIRL!!!!!!

**PixieOnCrack: **Where'd u live? Yes u r.

**TeamEdward1901: **New Zealand. Not. A. Fangirl. GEDDIT????

**PixieOnCrack: **Well, as odd as this sounds, we've all made up fake names, gone into the acting business and ended up playing ourselves in the Twilight movies (ironic, I know) so we could always get you tickets to the set to help with the filming. Gods, with the amount of makeup we use to make our skin stop sparkling and make ourselves normal, it's annoying to have to have a load of makeup put on again to make us look like we do normally. It's just a waste of precious time, and I never thought I'd be complaining about make up. Wow. Oh, and I got it. Ur not a fangirl, ur a obsessed-luv-struck fangirl!

**TeamEdward1901: **U got me there. I so totally agree when it comes to the makeup thing. It's just a waste. And for the invitation to the film set…O.o –faints from shock- OMG HELL YEA! Like, dream come true, any1?

**Runs/w/Wolves: **I'm willing to sacrifice what little sanity I have left to go see the Twilight set. BUYAH!! AND MEET JACOB!!

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **YAY!! Damn, your happiness is getting 2 me. :D

**PixieOnCrack: **YAY!! All settled then. SHOPPING!!

**TeamEdward1901: **SHOES, SHOES, omigod SHOES!!!!!!!!!

**PixieOnCrack: **CLOTHES, CLOTHES, CLOTHES, shoes, SHOES!!!!!!!!!

**Do I Dazzle You?: **We get it. You like shoes, clothes and shopping. Now stop ranting.

_Do I Dazzle You? has logged off_

**PixieOnCrack: **Yeesh, someone's PMSing.

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **O.o…

**Runs/w/Wolves: **OOC

**TeamEdward1901: **Le Deffo

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **?

**PixieOnCrack: **Out Of Character

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **Eddie's gone bipolar. I think it has 2 do with the fact that she & Rose have a bet.

**TeamEdward1901: **bet about what?

**PixieOnCrack: **Who can go the longest without sex.

**Runs/w/Wolves: **XO

**TeamEdward1901: **Bet Emmett isn't happy…

**Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST: **Nope. The bet's been going on for 3 days now.

**Runs/w/Wolves: **SERIOUSLY?!?!?!!!!!!!

**TeamEdward1901: **-faints from shock- so much 4 virtue…

**Runs/w/Wolves: **LMAO!!!! XD

**TeamEdward1901: **ttly

_TeamEdward1901 has logged off_

_PixieOnCrack has logged off_

_Jazzy the EMO-THERAPIST has logged off_

_Runs/w/Wolves has logged off_

**A/N: the whole virtue thing at the end is an inside joke between me & Lucy.**

**If I explained we'd b here 4ever.**

**I think I should go now.**

**This a/n is kinda dragging on**

**I have no idea how I got the idea to this chapter.**

**I NEED HELP!!!!!**

**CAN ANY REVIEWERS PLEASE GIVE ME IDEAS FOR MY STORY**

**I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO!!**

**HELP!!!!**

**Bye!!**

**Plz R&R**


	8. Jacob In Pink

**A/N: oh, I'm so sorry!!!! I had school until 5 in the afternoon every night, and loads of homework to do!! I should be doing it know actually, instead of writing this chapter. Ever so sorry about the long wait, I had no insperation!! This chapter is out now though, so tell me what you think and if you have any ideas, feel free to PM me or send me a review!!**

CH8 JACOB IN PINK

In Averlyn High Gym (I made up the school)

Girls: _Bella, _Alice,  Rose

**Boys: **_**Edward, **_**Jasper****, Emmett**

**This be boring**

Le Deffo

_**I've heard this stuff about 5 times before. That's at least once more than all of you, and you don't hear me complaining.**_

**That's cause you write ur complaints in notes to us, so we read them not hear them**

_**You know what I meant, Jasper.**_

**Chillax lil bro**

_I don't think I should ask_

_**Hello love.**_

_Hi Edward. Y did we take this class again?_

**Coz we know it all from experience**

_**Emmett…**_

I hate to say this Edward, but he's right. We do know all of this through experience

**Especially me & Rose. We'll ace this class!!**

_Emmett doing well in class??? THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH!!!_

Lol

Lmao

**rotfl**

**not that funny**

_Tis when uv had COFFEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!_

_**Bella, what did I say about coffee?**_

_To have loads of it every day?_

_**said. no. coffee.**_

…_Seriously?_

_**Yup.**_

_Damn_

OMG!!

**What?**

THAT MAN JUST SAID SEX!!!

That would be because we're in a sex ed. class, Alice

reeeeeeaaly???

_**Yup**_

WE CAN ALL PASS THIS CLASS WITH FLYING COLOURS!!!!! IT'LL BE EMMETT'S 1ST A+!!!!

**Hey!!**

Is for horses

This is stupid.

_Ur stupid._

EXCUSE ME?!!!!?!

_YOU. ARE. STUPID. _

HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME??? I AM GOING!!

_GOOD!!_

GREAT!!

_SUPERB!!_

BRILLIANT! BYE!!

_BYE!!! --pulls face-- BITCH!!_

WHAT??

_U SAID U WERE GOING, SO GO!!_

FINE

_FINE_

FINE

_F.I.N.E._

GOODBYE.

Rosalie stands up in the middle of the lecture and starts packing up her stuff. Coach Clapp, who was giving the lecture, yelled out "You can't go yet! You need to know the proper way to put on a condom!"

Rose just walks out the room faster after yelling "Unless you're blind, you'll have noticed that I'm a girl. The boys need the condom. Not me. You're clearly mentally challenged if you didn't know that." The rest of the students snicker at the sight of the big, burly coach being told off and corrected by a teenage girl.

_Okay…_

_**She's thinking about how no-one really 2ppreciates her and is wondering why she bothers to put up with you Bella.**_

_S'not my fault she's so touchy. _

**YOU SAID SNOT!!! LOL!!**

_Sure I did Emmett (Edward, what's the number for the nearest asylum?)_

_**0161 221 2309**_

_Thanks! You know that how?_

_**Emmett got sent there 67 years ago. **_

_Seriously?_

_**Uh-huh**_

**It was freaky there…all the humans wore white coats, and they kept asking you loads of questions about how you felt. They said I was un-curable and was to in touch with my inner child. They've all got sticks up their arses though. They need to chillax. Majorly.**

…_Moving on…_

_**How do you think Nessie is?**_

_She'll be ok, we've got Jake and Seth looking after her. She behaves for them._

Nessie's fine, she's playing dress up with Jacob. He looks fab with lipstick on!! 

**LMAO!! Wish we had photos…**

Oh, but we shall. I had the vision about it yesterday, so installed a video camera in Nessie's room that'll switch on at exactly 10:37 to record it. Don't worry Edward, it saves and switches itself off after 1/2hr. Your little girl shan't have her privacy invaded. 

_Evil…_

**HA!!! We can put them on facebook and let the world see him in pink!!**

_**This is actually starting to sound like a good plan. I'm surprised.**_

More surprised than last night when Bella got out the handcuffs?

_**Ye- wait, how'd you know about that????**_

_ALICE!!!!!!_

**GO BEL-LA!!! Who knew you had it in you?**

_-growls- SHUDDUP!!_

Hell no.

_Meanies_

We know, marvellous, isn't it? DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT BELLA!! TOUCH MY CREDIT CARDS AND DIE!!

_There goes my revenge plan. Drat._

The bell's gonna ring in 10 seconds guys. We should pack up.

_Edward?_

_**Yes love?**_

_Nothing._

_**It may be nothing now, but hat were you going to say?**_

_I was gonna say that … erm … I forgot. Sorry!!_

_**Never mind.**_

**A/N: hi again. I forgot to say a few things.**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL THOSE WHO REVIEW!! If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have the motivation to go on and write big chapters…they'd all probably be around 300 words, and now because of all you inflating my ego, I'm writing chapters with over 1000 words!!**

**please**

**R**

**E**

**V**

**I**

**E**

**W**

**and remember… reviews are the key to getting rid writer's block. The more reviews you get, the more writers block disappears 'cause you have something to work for… are you getting my logic? Good! Please R&R!**


	9. WTF is Mike doing here?

**Right. This chapter is later than normal because I couldn't think of anything funny. Nothing inspirational has happened, and my brain has run away. Far, far, away. Sorry!**

**SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO REVIEWED THE LAST CHAPTER!! Wow, last time the amount of feedback was amazing! Thank you all! I'm writing this chapter for you lot, if your name isn't below then PM me and I'll put it on. Thanks again!**

**My reviewers were:**

**ObsessiveCullenFan**

**TwilightgoddesslovesEdwardlol**

**BrittBrittgurl**

**call me **

**Samablue38**

**Uknoulovemextay**

**That isn't a lot compared to some, but for me it's a lot. **

**IMPORTANT****: I decided to add a few normal chapters, as it's hard to do some of the more funny stuff on AIM or notes. In this chapter, it's possible for a vampire to get high on sugar and fall over. Makes you think, don't it?**

**CHAPTER 9 – WTF IS MIKE DOING HERE?**

At the Cullen house, everyone was at their wits end. Emmett, being the idiot that he is, decided to give Bella Pepsi, chocolate and sherbet sweets. It's sad when I say that Bella was never allowed sweets as a child, but there's a reason for that. She has a very, very low sugar tolerance. She is now bouncing around the house, destroying nearly everything in site with her hyperness.

"HI! HIHIHIHIHIHIHI EDDIE!!!" Bella squealed as she yet again fell over the piano stool, which had somehow made it's way to the middle of the living room. Everyone but Edward was upstairs hiding.

"Hello again, Bella" Edward muttered grumpily, catching Bella in the middle of her ungraceful decent.

"PB&J sandwiches taste cool."

"erm…great…"

"Fabulicious, isn't it dah-ling?"

"Fabulicious??"

"Fabulous and delicious together, DUH!!"

Edward just shook his head.

"OMC, LOOK!! HEYA MIKEY!!" Bella waved like a mad woman out the large windows of the front room, and saw a creeped-out Mike waving hesitantly back. He disappeared and the doorbell rang 1 minute later. Bella sprinted to the door, somehow defying gravity and not falling, then opened the door.

"What? Bella, no, don't open it!! It's Mike!"

"What's wrong with me?" Mike scowled and crossed his arms.

"Everything." Edward smirked.

"Bluebell says hi." Bella grinned serenely.

"Who's Bluebell?" asked a curious Mike

"My dead cat."

"She's dead because…"

"I killed her."

A loud guffaw came from upstairs after Bella said this, Emmett had definitely heard the conversation.

"EMMETT!"

Emmett ran downstairs as fast as possible for a human, and saluted Bella. "Yes ma'am?"

"Come, my slave. We have much pranking to do."

Edward sighed. "Bella, love, please try not to blow whatever you're pranking up this time? Jasper made me pay for a new wardrobe after you blew his up, and I had to go and carry the bags for the next 3 times Alice went shopping."

"Yes dear." Bella kissed Edward on the cheek, the picture of innocence, then skipped out the door, falling down the porch steps and swearing once she hit the ground. Who knew that Bella had such a colourful vocabulary? Also, who knew that vampires could fall?

"Even I didn't know that one Bells!"

"You learn something new every day, Emmett."

"Bella, can we take the Jeep?"

"No. We're taking the Volvo."

Inside, where the rest of the family plus Mike were sitting, evesdropping on the conversation, Alice had a small vision and started laughing her head off. Edward just looked close to tears.

"No…no…WHY??" Edward wailed, making Alice laugh harder and Jasper, Mike, Esme, Carlisle and Rosalie look at him like he was mad, which he was, but still…on with the story!

"At least it'll give you a chance to get a better car Ed." Alice smirked, making her look evil.

"BUT IT'S MY BABY!!!"

"…And?"

"I CAN'T LOOSE IT!! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU LOST ALL YOUR CLOTHES AND COULDN'T GET THEM BACK, HMM??"

"OMGJ NOOOO!!"

"EXACTLY!!"

Alice and Edward start dry-sobbing and everyone ignores them in favour of watching Bella teach her protégé the art of pranking out the window.

"No Emmett, the water balloons are thrown at the other people, not me." Bella explained.

"Ok then."

Emmett turns around and pelts the water balloon he's holding through the still open door of the Cullen house and straight towards the still sobbing Alice and Edward.

SPLOOSH!!!

"Shit."

"Got that right for once, Emmett. T'was nice knowing you."

"Nice knowing you to, dearest Bella. Shall we?"

"We shall" Both started edging away from the scary, soaked pixie.

"OH YOU'D BETTER RUN!!" Alice was furious. Water dripped from her wet hair, turning it into rat's tails and soaked through her expensive, white designer tee.

"TO THE VOLVO!" Bella screeched sprinting vampire speed towards the silver machine. Turning the car on, Bella reversed quickly out of the drive, making the tires screech and drove away. Emmett was on the top of the car roof laughing like a hyena, having jumped there while Bella was reversing. Mike just stared, having seen the speed.

"Aw crap." Edward exclaimed, slapping a hand to his forehead. "Mike's still here!"

"And?" Jasper asked.

"HE SAW BELLA AND EMMETT RUN FULL SPEED YOU NINNY!! Oh, erm, sorry Jazz."

"OH *%&!! Apology accepted Ali. I know you didn't mean it." Jasper smiled, giving his small, wet wife a hug. **(A/N: omg…that last line was alliteration! I'm a poet, I just didn't know it…lol.) **

"Guys?" Rosalie said.

"Yah?" answered Ali, Eddie, Jazz, Carlisle and Esme.

"What do we do with Mike? Either we kill him or turn him. I vote kill. What about the rest of you? I know Bella and Emmett would choose kill."

"Turn him." Carlie (also known as Carlisle…there may be a one shot on how he got his nickname) said.

"Turn." Esme said.

"Kill." Edward answered.

"Hmm…Turn." Alice exclaimed after a few moments deliberation.

"Turn." Jasper said, everyone already knowing his answer – he'd never go against his wife.

"Drat – it's a tie – we can't turn him! It goes against the treaty." Rosalie scowled.

"So does killing him Rose." Carlisle said gently.

"Then what do we do!"

"Let him chose. He'll know about us either way."

Everyone turns towards a scared Mike, who looks ready to piss himself with fright as he listened to all the people in front of him discussing his death like one would discuss the weather.

"I don't wanna die!" Mike sniffled, wiping his runny nose on his sleve.

"But do you want to live forever? To never change? To kill animals and survive on blood?" Jasper grinned, knowing that the last question would make Mike panick.

"DRINK BLOOD? OH, HELL NO!"

"It's do or die, Mikey."

"F-Fine. I'll choose…erm…what were my options again?"

"Drink blood or die, idiot." Edward hissed.

"B-b-bl-blood."

"We'll have to go and explain it to the wolves. Bella'll get a right yelling from Jake and Nessie when we come back. Jake was telling Nessie about how much he hated Mike…now he's gonna be like us!!" Jasper cackled, looping arms with Alice.

The two vampires skipped out of the door and headed towards La Push, Alice singing 'The Wolves Of Oz' at the top of her voice.

**A/N: Geddit? 'Wizard of Oz' and 'Wolves of Oz'!! **

**rotfl**

**I've got a good idea for my next chapter.**

**I'm updating as fast as I can at the moment…**

**My brain doesn't like me.**

**It won't give me ideas.**

**Oh well.**

**Damn…this is a long chapter for me!**

**I'll update soon**

**Luv ya'll**

**Remember to R&R!**

**MILWEC**

**xxx**


	10. ImPoRtAnT nOtE pLeAsE rEaD

Dear readers,

I have a major problem. I'm moving house on the 25th of Feb, and once I move there won't be any internet for 1-2 weeks. I'm going to use that time to get ahead on updates though, I may have 2-3 ready for you during that time. I'm really sorry about this, but it's not something I can control as I'm only 12. I have a new chapter up now, but there's not going to be any more updates after this for about 2 weeks. I'm ever so sorry. Stay strong dear readers, I'm not giving up!

MILWEC

xxx

Ps: OMDE IT'S MY BIRTHDAY IN 4 DAYS!!! YAY!! (it's on the 22nd Feb) I'm going to see Twilight at the movies again with 2 friends from school…TWILIGHT!!


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